youtubin it up.

That's right....... I got a youtube. Well, I think I already had one... however, we are going to be posting more on there!! Yauuhhhh.......

On my blog, on the right hand side, I have linked my favorite social media app's that I use, they are just a click away!
We (me) am extremely new at this whole vlogging thing, so beware the quality is TOP NOTCH and the editing is as well.......
;)




Enjoy, loves!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqmDsphPuOatpV5lZvYJDvw
direct link.

life.unplugged.

 I have been going back and fourth about posting this on social media or not, or even on facebook, instagram, or even who to tell, who not to tell.. If you are a dude and NOT a dad(or heck just a dude in general)... You probably don't want to continue reading this.
Let me just tell you, this will be the most I have ever shared and the most I have been like... REAL, REAL.. honest. I am asking myself why I am sharing this now, but why not?
We have two kids, (obviously, if you know me) with the oldest being 10... maybe 2 years ago we threw the idea around of having another child, infact; we tried for about 6 months or so and had no such luck. As it was taking longer and the girls were only getting bigger we figured we were just meant to be a family of 4 and the thought of having more kids was not there.. I however, am not on anything to prevent more kids.
Fast forward a few years and 4 positive pregnancy tests later.... This was probably the most selfish I have ever though or felt in my life.. "What about my body? I want to get in shape, I AM trying to get in shape... I don't want to be pregnant again and get fat"..... Yes, those words came out of my mouth. "but, we didn't want anymore kids...." I've gone 5 days with a visit to the ER, visits to the Dr, and 4 panels of blood work later; to find out what was going on with me since I was supposed to be about 6/7weeks pregnant (from my last period) and I was experiencing some heavy bleeding and clotting.The thought of a mis-carriage was absolutely devastating to me. The answers they were giving me, weren't helping "Well, you have a cyst on your ovaries and this can be causing your body to "think" it's pregnant so you go through all the motions with it.... however, your blood work comes back that you are pregnant with a very low hormone level which can mean you are not very far along, or you are and you are experiencing a mild mis-carriage, we will need to keep re-testing your blood every 48 hours until we figure out the answer"...the waiting game....
 I have never felt so many emotions in such little time. I want(ed) a baby... (yes the one I was just complaining about a few days before) How could I? Now, I understand, well let me re-phrase that, I got a TASTE of what couples go through when they have zero kids and are longing for a child and can't, or they experience mis-carriage after mis-carriage, and keep trying. It is completely heartbreaking to me.... to know that, those small emotions (which felt HUGE... still do) to me at the time, these couples face them day in and day out. I have never sat and thought about what they feel like going through a mis-carriage or loss of the baby during pregnancy. I will NEVER look past this ever again. Every single person here is a Gift.... It is hard to grasp that in one single sentence.

 I just want to send major love and prayers out to anyone who has ever experienced this, or anyone who is going through this.  Whether you believe in God or not, HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOU... This I know. This I am passionated about. It is so hard to tell someone "This is the plan, it will be okay" when you haven't been through half of what they have. However, this chapter in your life will pass, you WILL turn the page and start a new adventure. Don't be afraid to seek others for help, for comfort, for peace and keep your mind busy. Don't let this end your journey and don't let your story stop here. Also know how strong you are to keep trying and keep pressing on.

With this being said, I got the news today that I miscarried little babe that was forming in my body. I am so very thankful and blessed for the two beautiful girls I have, for every inch of their body..I can't help but keep repeating this in my head; 

Psalm 34:18 

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit